Answering my own questioun as I found a resolution .
The oom kills were happening even when free stats were looking good like on a 256G RAM only 140G was used and still around 100G shows up as free .
[root@serverxx ~]# free -g
total        used        free      shared  buff/cache   available
Mem:            251         140         108           0           2         108
Swap:            19           6          13
oom kills were triggered by high %commit in the sar stats where the kernel starts targetting instances with high memory footprint to free up .
To avoid oom kills for the guest instances with higher memory footprints , I set the following .
vm.oom_kill_allocating_task=1
When I did a sar -r the %commit was way higher than the system can allocate and I figured from ps that it was a cinder-backup container that was created by default from kolla-ansible deployments but was not configured .
Cinder backup service stats that I didn't configure and it was just running , it turned out that the unconfigured container was taking up all the memory overtime as seen from the output of ps command in the vsz .
ps -eo args,comm,pid,ppid,rss,vsz --sort vsz column
VSZ is extremely high
COMMAND                     COMMAND             PID    PPID   RSS    VSZ
/usr/libexec/qemu-kvm -name qemu-kvm        1916998   47324 8094744 13747664
/var/lib/kolla/venv/bin/pyt cinder-backup     43689   43544 170999912 870274784
Sar stats for % commit coming back to normal after the backup container was stopped and now everything is back to normal . %commit highlighted from 1083.46 to 14.21 after the changes .
02:00:37 PM kbmemfree   kbavail kbmemused  %memused kbbuffers  kbcached  kbcommit   %commit  kbactive   kbinact   kbdirty
03:00:37 PM  48843576  49998184  82890508     62.92      9576   5949348 1427280428   1083.46  75646888   2797388       324
03:10:37 PM  48829248  49991284  82904836     62.93      9576   5956544 1427343664   1083.50  75653556   2804592       116
03:20:22 PM 120198612 121445516  11535472      8.76      9576   6042892  18733688     14.22   4887688   2854704        80
03:30:37 PM 120189464 121444176  11544620      8.76      9576   6050200  18725820     14.21   4887752   2862248        88