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How to set up vnc4server

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I'm on Ubuntu 18.04.6 LTS, with kubuntu-desktop installed.

I'm running vnc4server so I can connect remotely from my phone to run apps when I'm out and about.

Here's the contents of my ~/.vnc/xstartup, which was pieced together by random googling until it finally became functional (from my very faded ancient memories, I think the default KDE WM was very slow and laggy over vnc):

#!/bin/sh

# Uncomment the following two lines for normal desktop:
# unset SESSION_MANAGER
# exec /etc/X11/xinit/xinitrc

[ -x /etc/vnc/xstartup ] && exec /etc/vnc/xstartup
[ -r $HOME/.Xresources ] && xrdb $HOME/.Xresources
xsetroot -solid grey
vncconfig -iconic &
x-terminal-emulator -geometry 80x24+10+10 -ls -title "$VNCDESKTOP Desktop" &
x-window-manager &

gnome-panel &
gnome-settings-daemon &
metacity &
xterm -maximized &
xterm -maximized &
xterm -maximized &
xterm -maximized &

Over the years and quite a few do-release-upgrade's, something has happened to the vnc server and although I can still run apps, the window titlebars don't have any maximize/minimize buttons, and I can't resize windows (although I can double-click the titlebars to maximize/restore).

What I would like to have is a very minimal environment to run in vnc4server with a working WM with window controls, etc, that is still fast over a slow remote connection, so not too much eye candy and animations.

So I think I need to somehow fix metacity, or use something else.

What can I do to achieve this?

I sit in a Tesla and translated this thread with Ai:

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